Monday, 5 October 2009

Is Abortion a contraceptive? - What is your view?

Original title 'Abortion is not a contraceptive' - the title was changed in order not to come across as too opinionated, to encourage more of your comments and your views on this highly topical subject - Brother Don...

Original post Sunday 4th October 2009

MEN! this is not just a womans topic - abortion is not just a thing women do, we have a part to play in it too, a major part in that.

A rather long extract from the book by Jeremiah Walker but worth the read. I thought I would put it in the blog as I feel it is a very topical issue. I would ask you to have a read and make a point of giving your views. it is all to easy for us to read without giving our feedback.

Join the debate, what is your view. You maybe helping someone by giving a view or sharing an experience.

Excerpt from 'To be somebody's father'

Sorry, let me get back to the serious note I began upon, women, marriage, female family members. I have been too through much and done too much in my life, to now, watch my female members of my family go through a lot of junk (and some of the junk that I gave) I experienced in one way or another, from one perspective or another. Therefore, I have told them all (sorry guys, although some of you may see this as selling out, it’s tough, cause I’m talking about blood here), you do not sleep with any guy before marriage. Old fashioned maybe, in this day and age with all of the sexual transmitted diseases it could also be a life saver; however, if you are going to participate in the most intimate of relationships two individuals can experience on earth then do so with someone, who will commit for life. This is no try before you buy, no sale or return offer here. There are too many mixed up and messed up individuals who are the result of these type of try out deals and carrying the wounds and often hidden scars of an absent father or mother, there are also too many women scared by the horror of abortion, which I would like to add ‘ABORTION IS NOT A CONTRACEPTIVE’. Before I go on, I have a point I must discuss:

Abortion – I cannot write about such issues of relationships, abandonment, marriage, single parent families, abstinence from sex until marriage and such issues without touching on abortion.

In order to make things clear from the start, I will be straight in telling you that two women in my earlier life had abortions because of me. I am not proud to say this and I have to say to the men that abortion is not just a thing women do, we have a part to play in it too, a major part in that. I know this is a very topical and debatable subject and depending upon your experiences of life that will form your view.

I have just been talking about abstinence from sex, because of the amount of children who come into this world as a result of sexual relationships that do not have the depth of emotional and character relational depth between the two engaged in the sexual act. So whilst I am not going back on what I have said in regards to the need for depth of emotional relationships and my belief that both father and mother are the healthiest environment for children to grow up in; I would say that the women who do go through and have the child when on their own have not aborted a life and have given that life a chance. I will also add that with so many married couples who cannot have children for one reason or another, adoption can often be a great option. I know many people have scars from adoption as the abandonment issue does sometimes arise, but when it works adoption can be the most wonderful thing and I believe it works more than it does not. My personal belief now is that God gives life and we are not the ones to say who lives and who does not. This was not always my belief, or I should say I did not always hold true to those values as I did always have a God awareness and as I said two women have had abortions because of me; in fact I will share that now:

The first woman was someone who had a young child herself to a relationship that had not worked. We meet up after not having seen each other for years and one thing led to another and we started having a casual relationship that included sex. This woman’s child was just under one year old. This was not a relationship that I saw as being serious, but quite how she felt, I was not sure. I remember being in Manchester having travelled there for work and receiving a call from this woman who hit me with the bombshell that she was pregnant. I was about mid twenties at this time and this was the first time I had heard those words. She asked me what I wanted to do and I did not say a word; I did not know what to say. I failed this woman, because I just did not give any type of support or thought on the matter over those few weeks. I made my decision in my absence and so she did what many women have to do when the man goes missing (whether physically or emotionally), they make tough decisions on their own that should have been made with support and care of the missing one. Yes, that missing one on this occasion was me and after having the abortion this woman informed me, what she had done and basically told me where to go.

The second time was two or three years later. This time it was with a woman that I really wanted to be with for the rest of my days as far as I was concerned. Although this woman had many, a secret that just kept coming up from time to time, I guess part of the mystique was what drew me to her even more. When she told me she was pregnant, I was so happy that I even told my mother. However, this woman did not intend to have a child at that time, you see she already had two children that we adopted. I was heartbroken when she went ahead and had the abortion; in fact, it led to three to six months of depression. Now I know that you ‘Sow what you reap’, ‘what goes around comes around’ and yes it would seem that that was definitely the case for me here.

I also remember seeing the first woman many years after later and at this time, I had had my faith experience. I wanted so much to say to her, I am sorry for what I allowed you to go through on your own, but the look that she gave me was one of death and so I thought it best to suffer the guilt and leave alone. Side note - Sometime we want to apologise in order for us to put things right. However, sometimes it is more about us and our feelings than the recipient's feelings. It is important that you examine your reasons for wanting to apologise and to take on board the fact that the recipient may not be in that place to want to bring up the pain of the past or be ready to forgive.

Going back to my initial points, I do believe abortion to be wrong and have shared my own experiences so that you can see that I faced been a failure in this issue myself and am not trying to stand in judgement over anyone. After all, I do not know what you have experienced or the situations you faced, I mean what about a woman who has suffered rape or a child that has been diagnosed as going to be born with such disabilities that its quality of life will be severely minimised. Yes, there are many arguments for and I do not have all the answers and am not even sure where I stand myself in regards to the two very examples I have just given. I will however say that I am focused more on the casual or in fact non casual sexual relationships that are ending in pregnancy where two or one of the two, rather than face the responsibility of the consequence of sex, do what I believe to do the right thing and work at a relationship and be parent to the unborn child. For me, once there is life conceived it is life and I do not care whether it is on hour, one week, one month, it is life and it has a soul and spirit within it. I know that many medical people hold a different opinion, but so does God.

I have seen many women who have had to deal with the aftermath of abortion and I would say that sometime the scars stay hidden for many years. Sometime some of the unexplained behaviour one has is due to the many issues of life and abortions have as big an impact as any. There is so much more so say on this subject but for now will finish where I started - ‘ABORTION IS NOT A CONTRACEPTIVE’.

Well, I for one cannot wait to read that book. I challenge you to get off the couch and give your view on this topic. There are young people following this blog, who will benefit from your wisdom.

1 Thessalonians 5:21 (New Living Translation)

but test everything that is said. Hold on to what is good.

Brother Don


Anonymous said...

my earliest exposure to abortion was through my own experience at sixteen - where I was taken to the doctors by my mother (even at that point I did not understand what was going on), the reality of what was taking place happened in the hospital. (it was a means of covering the shame of what I had done) for the benefit of 'the community' and the 'church'.
The actual reality that the baby in womb was an actual life and abortion was the direct act of 'killing' a child did not figure into the situation. It was a means to an end, a method of convenience or dealing with inconvenience. It was sometime later, as the Lord was dealing with my inner most roots of behaviour (the core of who I was and am), he took me through series of deliverances and healing and amazingly giving me the knowledge of where and how and why I made the choices I did, why I behaved and reacted (the issues)as I did. During the processing of the clearing of the inner core, I knew instinctively to kill a baby in the womb was wrong.

By this that time I had started Bible study (I was given the gift of teaching) one of the topic the Lord gave to deliver was 'Abortion'. I read a book called the 'Santity of Life' He led me to Psalms 139 - that I began to understand

13 For you formed my inmost being.
You knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I will give thanks to you,
For I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful.
My soul knows that very well.
15 My frame wasn’t hidden from you,
When I was made in secret,
Woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my body. In your book they were all written, The days that were ordained for me,
When as yet there were none of them.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, God

The knowledge of knowing that the intricate members of our frame, our soul and body was fashioned by Him even BEFORE we were placed in our Mothers Womb - blew my mind - How Precious Life is !!!! It is to be worshipped and adore LIFE.
More knowledge came through medical research of the embryo - cell multiplying (the soul is there at the time the ova and sperm begins to meet and multiply and more into their designated devine appointed parts of the body. As it takes the human form it becomes a 'feotus' recognition of the body parts.

The Word says 'from before the foundation of the world HE KNEW me' that is stating that I was before I came to be

4 For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love 5 He[c] predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will—

I do understand that a woman can find herself in situations whereby the option of abortion seems the only way out. We cannot judge her, just pray that they will make the right decision.

Nev said...

I've just read the article and the annonymous comment. These things do need talking about. Thank you both for doing so. As a young 'idealist' I had quite a judgemental attitude seeing abortion as an 'issue' to campaign about. Now, although I hold views similar to those expressed hear I just feel very, very sad to the point of weeping over the terrible pain that results from both abortion and unwanted / unplanned pregnancy and the absence of a man and woman committed to each other and to their children.
I am also very blessed to hear how God can and does untangle the mess, bring restoration and forgiveness. We all have such hope because of Jesus Christ.

Nev said...

Graham Kendrick was asked to write a song for CARE on this subject. Here are the lyrics

Who can sound the depths of sorrow
In the Father heart of God
For the children we've rejected
For the lives so deeply scarred?
And each light that we've extinguished
Has brought darkness to our land
Upon our nation, upon our nation
Have mercy, Lord

We have scorned the truth you gave us
We have bowed to other lords
We have sacrificed the children
On the altars of our gods
O let truth again shine on us
Let your holy fear descend
Upon our nation, upon our nation
Have mercy, Lord

(Men only)
Who can stand before your anger?
Who can face your piercing eyes?
For you love the weak and helpless
And you hear the victims' cries
Yes, you are a God of justice
And your judgement surely comes
Upon our nation, upon our nation
Have mercy, Lord

(Women only)
Who will stand against the violence?
Who will comfort those who mourn?
In an age of cruel rejection
Who will build for love a home?
Come and shake us into action
Come and melt our hearts of stone
Upon your people, upon your people
Have mercy, Lord

Who can sound the depths of mercy
In the Father heart of God?
For there is a Man of sorrows
Who for sinners shed his blood
He can heal the wounds of nations
He can wash the guilty clean
Because of Jesus, because of Jesus
Have mercy, Lord

Graham Kendrick
Copyright © 1988 Make Way Music,

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