Sunday, 11 October 2009


A recent incident gave me cause to reflect on a previous item I mention from ‘Lessons from Job – 11th September 09’ -

I have added part of a message that I had cause to send to someone. What are your thoughts? Does being someone’s friend mean you can transgress the usually boundaries of causing emotional pain? What are the boundaries of friendship?

My message to unnamed:

Being someone's friend does not give anybody the right to use that friendship as so type of demand/s to set an agenda. If someone does not want to talk then back off. The art of friendship is knowing when to speak and when not to.

When comforting your friends/brethren/family anybody please

  • Take on board/understand the delicate nature of their experience. It may be trivial to you, but not to them

  •  It is not an opportunity to show how much you know and how spiritual you are

  •  It is about comforting and supporting them

  • Do be honest and do not agree to untruths in order to pacify, but do it in love and with love

  • Be sensitive

  • Remember – not everyone is like you and so it is not always right to tell it as you would like to hear it – it’s not about you

  • Lastly – if you can’t do the above, find someone else who can

    Always seek God guidance on what or what not to say, if God is asking you to say anything at all.
I really do invite your comments as I brother Don am not the height of knowledge, although I may write my thoughts on an issue as well as direct writings as led by God, I am here trying to learn like all the rest of us, so please do take the time to leave a comment. I like anyone else can get things wrong and whilst certain issues are based on a person perspective of an issue, it is often helpful to get other peoples thoughts.

Do something different today and add your comments (anonymously if you prefer) it is a subject I am sure we all will have an opinion on. Just a thought, what are the dynamics of friendships in your circles, your cultural background etc?

How far does your friendship go? I will give you two scenarios’ here:


Your have been brought up to believe that a partnership relationship should be based upon a male and female foundation and then you find out that your best friend is in a same sex relationship. What do you do? Do you cut your friendship as their position is in such stark contrast to your own beliefs? Do you stay friends, as after all this is your friend who you have been through many roads and trials together? What do you do? For my Christian brothers and sisters I add this further question – What would Jesus do?


Your friend’s marriage has broken down and your friend has accepted this and is moving on with their life. You however feel that your friend is moving on too easily and you are not happy because you do not have all the facts of the issues behind the failure of the marriage. Is it fair for you to demand to know all of the details? Is it fair for you to express how much discomfort you have over the issue or do you as a friend who also has been a friend for a very long time, support you friend based upon the knowledge you have of that person’s character? If your friend more or less tells you that they are not prepared to discuss the matter any further, is it right for you to be upset by this or should you as previously mentioned – ‘Take on board/understand the delicate nature of their experience’ and perhaps back off?

I should add that just in case you are thinking that Brother Don needs re-assurance in the message I sent to my friend – I do not. I am very comfortable in what I said; I just want to encourage conversation on the issue of friendship.
There you go, this must surely provoke some of you to add a comment :O)

1 Thessalonians 5:21 (New Living Translation)

But test everything that is said. Hold on to what is good.

Thank you and God bless you all

Brother Don

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